the first day

life alway seems to give you just what you need.  it's funny that way.

i am passionate about knitting.  i work my real job, but would love to someday own my own knitting shop.  three years ago i decided that i might never do that full time, but i did want to try something.

i hooked up with the paint-your-own-ceramics shop in town and i teach knitting there one night a week and i sell yarn there.

business has been good, really good for a part time.  probably really quarter time.  i love it and it fills a need for me.

for awhile lately things have been slow.  i started thinking things like: is this it, is it over, is it time to move on?  really just lots of doubt.

i've had two restless and sleepless nights this week. these thoughts just "heavy" on me.  i came home from work today, knowing that tonight was my night to do my knitting thing, and feeling the stress of these thoughts, i  took a nap.

i even felt "down" on my way over there tonight.

life always gives you what you need.  

 i had great and fun people there tonight, that needed my help to knit. 

 i had a few orders and some sales off the shelves. 

 i left feeling good. 

 and feeling bad, at myself for not relaxing, letting go, and doubting.

life's funny that way!

sometimes i don't think that my job is fit for humans.  today was one of those days. 

it is true that teaching can be very rewarding.  it is true that you touch lives and the future everyday.  it is true that there are students out there that truly come to school to get an education.  but it is also true that many times i am an overpaid babysitter for children that are too old for a babysitter.

today was one of those days.

could be the time of year (did i mention that i have 25 class days left)!  could be that the weather is getting warmer.  could be, but bottom line is that the students i had difficulty with today are some of the same one that i have had difficulty with always.

comes with the job i guess.

in the meantime i sit here at home trying to unwind and relax.  get into "a zen place", which by the way i've tried to find at work. 

my peach/ginger tea is good.  my spa garden cd is soothing.  and i have a facial scheduled for next week.

all we can do is hang on!

deciding to start to weblog is just like deciding to do anything new. 

sometimes you feel like life is too busy and you don't have time for somethng new.  sometimes you think you don't have anything of value to say. sometimes you just plain-old doubt yourself.

but without trying...you will never know if these things are true.  so, i start.

this is my blog about life, family, journey, and my passion of knitting.

this is the first day.